Cost Benefits of Friendship free essay sample

Can men and women be just friends? There is a song called â€Å"Why can’t We Be Friends? Or have you ever watched the movie when Harry Met Sally and they both are sitting in the diner late at night and the famous scene when Sally asks Harry that men and women can just be friends without having sex with each other. (Reiner, 1989)It is possible? I think and it can be done, but the biggest difference is that men always think about sex and women may think about sex, but a friendship is more important in both sexes than the sex itself. Much of human social interaction occurs within the context of enduring relationships, such as kinships and friendships. Friendships prevent good and bad differences. In principle, friendships can provide a bounty of benefits that historically may have been linked directly or indirectly with reproduce one of the complexities of friendship is that some characteristics of friendship are perceived as both beneficial and costly game. A friendship protects each other and I see this based on the survey from this paper. First, I think we must define what a benefit is and secondly, what is the definition of costly? The benefits are what are good for the both people and person involved. TED Talks: Helen Fisher: â€Å"The Brain in Love†- I found this video very interesting and yet very sad, because Helen Fisher would not want to test my brain with the MRI scan. I thought it was noted that she took an older couple who was married for at least 25 years and it was noted the brain was active with the receptors of still being in love. And, she used different conductors, couple who just broke up, couples who were married fir along time. Helen Fisher used animals to test het theories not on sexual tendencies, but rather on romantic interests. My favorite line which I liked the best, which is, â€Å"I would like to tell the medical, legal and the college community that romantic love is the most addictive substance on Earth† (Fisher, 2008). I really believe that to be true and those simple lines have been around since the time of Adam and Eve, and even then the apple got in the way. Attraction and Relationships are truly at the root of all relationships of both liking and loving is a basic attraction. . Unlike, people rarely fall instantly and forever in love, However, I am one of those rare exceptions where I fell in love at first and have remained that way for more than 22 years. That researcher should come and talk to me, can love be unrequited and has this research indicate that individuals who view their partners as best friends as well as lovers seem to have the happiest and healthiest relationships. Love has dozens of definitions, degrees of intensity, and even applications to family members, friends, and even strangers. Social psychology research has determined several factors that influence our attraction to others. These factors include proximity we like/love those who are physically close to us; interpersonal rewards – I like/love those who provide rewards such as wit, charm, and goods; similarity we like/love those who share our attitudes, values, and interests; and physical attractiveness I like/love those at the same level of physical attractiveness. Citation for this research assignment (Buss, 2000) asked 116 questions on how these questions would be beneficial and costly? I tried to do some and I realized at my age they were not relevant to me at all. I thought they were pretty outdated and ridiculous for me to answer. I found some interesting and what would I do if†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦ but, it seemed I answered some of them; however a lot of them were not applicable. This article is very challenging to write and I feel the abstract and summary of this article is very summed up by Helen Fisher’s You Tube video, â€Å"The Brain in Love†- all this research in the end is a waste of time, because it only proves that love doesn’t last forever, it gives you nothing but heart ache and anxiety, depression and probably at some point in someone’s life, even death can occur. If there was a walking anesthetic that I could take to ease my pain, I would take it. I can imagine other people going through the same pain. (Buss, 2000) goes on to explain in great detail the interpersonal relationships through his statistics between the men and women of certain ages and go through a serious of questions and answers, it only seems right that the answers were asked almost 13 years ago, I can imagine how this has changed and would the answers be different today or the same. Does time change us when we are in love or do we change? That is the question to ask? Next, reading the article and writing a paper in which I critically assess the research question(s) I am trying to address, the hypotheses of the study, the methodology (etc. ), and the key findings reported, and after the conclusion drawn based on those findings. Finally, I am going to compare the article in which I have selected above to the information presented by Fiske (2010). I have included the comparison include in that a social psychological concept in addition to evolutionary theory or concepts that may at least partially explain the results. I personally think Fiske (2010) are at opposite ends of the spectrum and yet do believe in the same conclusions, but different ways of approaching the same subject. According to recent research, over one half of the people in cross-sex friendships report sexual attraction or sexual tension (Afifi, 2000). Not only is sexual attraction present, but it can also be perceived as a benefit in such relationships. In a study done by Bleske (2000), â€Å"men evaluated the potential for having sex with their close opposite-sex friend as more beneficial than did women. † Men are also more likely than women to view their cross-sex friendships as precursors to a romantic relationship (Reeder, 2000). The current research tested the hypothesis that men, more often than women, think of their opposite-sex friend sexually. Results showed that the differences between men and women were statistically significant, supporting the hypothesis those men, more often than women, think of their opposite-sex friends sexually. â€Å"What Im saying is and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form is that men and women cant be friends because the sex part always gets in the way† (Reiner, 1989). This statement about relationships was boldly made by Harry in the film When Harry Met Sally. Historically, relationships between men and women have always been thought of as romantic. However, recently, researchers have been focusing on cross-sex friendships. Much of the research has been aimed at investigating the statement that Harry made in the film When Harry Met Sally: â€Å"Can men and women just be friends? † (Reiner, 1989). Perhaps Harry was right when he said that men and women cannot be friends without sex getting in the way. This sexual element is perceived by some as a negative in the relationship, while others see it as a positive and feel it spices up the friendship. Whether the sexual attraction is seen as a positive or negative in the relationship, it has always been assumed by researchers that if any sexual relations did develop between a man and a woman in a cross-sex friendship, they occurred after the friendship had shifted to a romantic relationship. In essence, the belief was that once sex entered the relationship, the two people involved took the relationship to a different level (Afifi, 2000). This study seems to suggest that not only is sexual tension very much a part of most cross-sex friendships. Even after such elements presented themselves in the relationship, most of the males and females remained friends. This disproved the notion that men and women are either in a platonic relationship or a sexual, romantic relationship. It suggests that men and women can be friends, along with being sex partners. It is important to keep in mind that not all male-female friendships involve sex. The next motive found was labeled time out. In this circumstance, the person either did not want or did not feel ready to be involved in a romantic relationship at the time. Another motive reported was labeled safeguard relationship. This means the person did not want to get involved in a romantic relationship because he/she did not want to lose the friendship. The next most commonly reported motive was labeled third party. Under this circumstance, participants reported that one of the friends was involved in a romantic relationship with someone else. The final motive was labeled risk aversion. In this case, participants reported they did not want to be disappointed or hurt. These findings help affirm the fact that some men and women in cross-sex friendships prefer to remain entirely platonic for one reason or another. After researchers discovered these different types of cross-sex friendships, they wanted to study the benefits of cross-sex relationships to better understand why some friends remain platonic and others do not. In order to do this, much of the researchers began by studying the interactions of children. Along with interacting differently, men and women perceive different benefits in their cross-sex relationships. Women report the main benefit of their cross-sex relationships is getting to participate in more masculine activities. Men, on the hand, report the main benefit of such relationships is nurturing and emotional support. Because of these differing views on the benefits of their relationships, it has been found that men are more likely than women to view their cross-sex friendships as precursors to a romantic relationship. In conclusion, does it really matter anyway if friends have a cost or beneficial relationship , or is the new coined term â€Å"friends with benefits† so really, what is a benefit anyway, We can think of the word benefit in any representation we in society wants it to be? How do you want it?